I’ve had a lot of time to myself in the past year. Time to think, plan and reflect. Time to be still, and time to get moving. Recently, I’ve had time to slow down even more and just enjoy it. Time stands still.

That’s because of Link.

Baby fix

I’ve joked for years about getting my “baby fix.” Any time a friend or family member had a baby, I’d line up with every other woman of a certain age to have a turn holding the baby. It seems to strike those of us who’ve had kids, although younger women who want to have babies also like to hold them.

There’s something primal about holding a baby. It’s more like instinct. I don’t just want to hold the baby, I need to hold the baby.

Then, after I’ve had the baby for a bit, I can share with someone else. It’s OK to let someone else hold the baby. I’ve had my “fix,” and I will be OK, for a while, anyway.

I don’t think it’s just me. Go to a party or gathering where a baby is in attendance, and you’ll have to fight for a chance to hold the baby, and then someone will be trying to take the baby from you before you’ve had a proper chance to hold him or her.

It also doesn’t matter if the baby is fussy, awake, sleeping, crying, eating, pooping – I still want to hold the baby and will take my turn, no matter what.

Graduating to grandchildren

It’s been a while since I’ve had friends with babies. Now, we are graduating to grandchildren.

And that’s where Link comes in.

I’ve been fortunate to be able to spend time with my new grandson. A couple of times, I’ve even been the baby-sitter while Mommy and Daddy had a date. Other times, I hold him while I visit. Today, I held him while my daughter took a nap. He was just a little fussy, but then he decided to nap, too, cradled in my arms.

Watching him sleep took me back to when my kids were little. It’s funny how you can remember where you were and how you felt, looking at that tiny human.

I remember the sheer exhaustion I felt from not getting enough sleep, and yet, I was loathe to lay my babies down when they fell asleep in my arms – partly because I was sure they would wake up and partly because I wanted to keep holding them.

Surely, this instinct is built in, to help our species survive. Not many other infants are as dependent on their parents and certainly not for as long as human children. If we didn’t have this desire to hold and care for them, how many would not survive?

Time stands still

There’s a time element built into it, too. Time seems to stand still while you’re holding a baby. This seems especially true when it’s just you and the baby – no one else around. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, and suddenly, many minutes or even hours have passed.

To a young parent who’s trying to do household chores and hold down a job, that time spent with a baby is both precious and fleeting. Yet, it also feels like time you don’t necessarily have. Before children, you had time to spend in normal routines and even hobbies. After children, you barely have time to bathe some days, let alone clean the house.

Yet, at some point, it returns to a new normal, and you have more time again. Babies grow up, and you don’t need to spend as much time just holding them.

Of course, you may still want to hold them, but they don’t need it as much as you do.

And then, your babies grow up entirely. If you’re lucky, maybe they will have babies of their own, so you can enjoy that slowing of time, with a new baby in your arms.

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How to Be a Better Writer Tip

A word about hyphens

My sister knows how much I love my AP Stylebook. She shared this article with me that bemoans a change from The Associated Press relating to hyphens.

To sum up The Big Lead’s story: “Dark times ahead, folks. Dark times.”

AP Stylebook updated its guidance on when to use a hyphen in a compound modifier, saying no hyphen is needed when the modifier is commonly recognized as one phrase, and the meaning is “clear and unambiguous” without the hyphen. The editors used “first quarter touchdown” as an example.

Of course, it won’t be clear to editors and writers, trying to figure out what’s a commonly recognized phrase. I can imagine the conversations – nay the arguments – without guidance from AP Stylebook, which was very clear in its instruction about hyphens in compound modifiers.

The article was written somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but there is an underlying concern that I share as an editor. While the world won’t end if we don’t hyphenate first-quarter touchdown, it’s one more thing that will actually be less clear to those of us who care about words and getting them right.

Dark times, indeed.