Adulting is a real thing, for parents, anyway.

If you’re a parent of a young adult – or responsible for one in some way — you’re familiar with this concept, even if you didn’t know it had a name.

Kelly Williams Brown is a humor writer who’s credited with coining the term “adulting.” She makes “adult” into a verb: “to adult.” She wrote a book about small steps young people can take to become a grown-up.

Yeah, I know. When we were growing up, you just figured things out. You watched and paid attention. You made mistakes, but you didn’t need a book to teach you how to be a grown adult.

Well, it is a humor book, so millennials aren’t reading it, either – not like a how-to guide. But my kids reference adulting often enough, it’s part of their lexicon – part of who they are.

Adulting is a real thing for me

As the parent of three young adults, I am familiar with the angst that seems to envelop them. I walk a fine line between wanting to help and keeping my mouth shut. I want them to learn without making mistakes – especially the ones I made – but I also need to remember they need to figure things out on their own. No one wants someone to tell them what to do all the time – even if it’s another adult, like a parent. Especially a parent.

My kids do a pretty good job of figuring out what they need to do. They rely on each other, which is good. Of course, they have the internet to help figure things out. Google can help with all sorts of things, if you know what to look for.

But sometimes, they are clueless. Then, they might turn to me, adult to adult.

Real-life adulting scenario

Case in point: I was on an important Skype call when I saw a text from my daughter. I could tell by the first few words she needed something, but that was not the time to respond, so I ignored it. In a couple of minutes, she called. I clicked the button to send it to voicemail, knowing she wouldn’t leave a message.

Later, when I was done with my call, I read her frantic text. “Momma I need help,” she began. I called her back, of course, but I knew the situation had not escalated, because she hadn’t texted again, and it wasn’t in ALL CAPS. That’s the signal for something really BAD or really GOOD, because you are SHOUTING ABOUT IT.

It turns out, she missed the window at work to get insurance coverage, although the company never provided her with the paperwork. She filed a grievance with the union, but it probably won’t help.

My insurance is ending because I moved to Tennessee. I can’t cover any of my kids, unless we live in the same state. She didn’t know which way to turn. She had tried an internet search but was confused by the terms. “I don’t know what a deductible is and I’m very angry and tired,” she texted.

“I learned about mitochondria in school,” she spat, “not this shit, which is what I need to know.”

I can’t argue with that. Unless you’re going to college, many high school classes aren’t relevant. At least my kids had a required financial literacy class. Apparently, though, they didn’t talk about insurance and deductibles.

Learning by doing. It’s another step in the process of becoming an adult adult – almost adulting.

‘Adulting for dummies’ about deductibles

I offered my “adulting for dummies” explanation of deductibles and why I choose an insurance plan with a high deductible. Then, I walked her through how to apply on healthcare.gov. I told her to call the marketplace number if she got stuck, because the people who answer can help – but it will take a lot longer to fill out the application. I have a lot of experience with the marketplace system and insurance issues. A LOT.

She still probably doesn’t fully understand deductibles, but at least she’s on the road to getting some insurance coverage.

Like all things in life, it’s a learning process. You learn to be an adult a little at a time – or “adulting,” Kelly Williams Brown-style.