I made a friend on the plane.

She was on the aisle, and I had the center seat. I pointed, and she stood up to let me in.

I shoved my laptop bag under the seat.

“It’s amazing. They don’t look like they will fit,” she said. “Yet they do.”

I agreed and said I refused to pay for a carry-on bag, so I had packed for a week’s vacation in my laptop bag — since I needed my laptop for work.

We talked the entire flight.

It was like catching up with an old friend.

A new friend on the plane

We discussed our journeys, life, kids, pets, careers, travel, figuring out what to do with an empty nest, divorce, hobbies, heart break and guilt.

I shared with her, as I have with a few people, that I feel guilty for what my kids learned from me. We all want our children to learn the good stuff, but they are watching all the time. They also learn the stuff we don’t want — or aren’t even aware of.

For example, I taught my kids responsibility. If you commit to something, you do it. Soccer, piano, scouts, plays, safety patrol. If you say you’re going to do it, you do it.

Sounds good, right? It is.

But they also learned the downside of my commitment to a relationship for 30 years, when it no longer was good for any of us. They watched me stay and wondered why.

They learned that if you say you’re going to do something, you do it. Even when it’s no longer good to do it.

Feelings of guilt

That’s where the guilt comes in. I am sorry they learned the negatives as well as the positives.

That’s where she stopped me. No, she said, you can’t feel guilty about that. You were doing what you needed to do. They will do what they need to do.

I’ve had others echo that sentiment. They tell me I need to let go of that guilt. There is nothing to be done about it. It’s in the past. You can’t explain it or wish it away. Dwelling on it won’t change it.

I suppose I need to forgive myself. That’s hard. I am my own worst critic.

But it was interesting hearing it from a near stranger — at that point, I didn’t even know her name.

Yet, she was adamant.

An old friend on the plane

Near the end of the flight, she said we needed to exchange numbers. I added her name and number to my phone and promised to text.

At baggage claim — for her, not me — we hugged, and I told her how much I enjoyed meeting her.

I texted, but it didn’t go through. Later, I called and left a message, but I never heard back.

Perhaps her phone number was off by a digit. Maybe technology failed — my phone and service provider don’t get along great. Or it’s possible she decided not to stay in touch.

I like to think that someday I’ll run into her again on a flight, and we will pick right back up where we left off, like the old friends we are.

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Be a Better Writer Tip

Use a scene setter to introduce your topic.

Telling a story is a common way to set the scene. Public speakers do this all the time. They tell a story, then relate it to their topic.

In this case, I wanted to talk about my experience of making a new friend and how I was surprised by what she told me.

It made sense to start at the beginning and set the scene: The plane, our seats, the bags. Anyone who has flown can relate without a lot more description.

In this case, that brief introduction allowed me to get to the heart of my topic. Perhaps your scene setter will be longer, more detailed. It all depends on your writing style and goal.

If you find yourself struggling to start, try to set the scene first.