We learn by doing, and it doesn’t have to…
Watching my grandson eat Cheerios, I was reminded of something: It doesn’t have to be perfect.
He delights in grabbing them with chubby hands, fingers splayed out to grasp as many as he can. Then, he has to try and get them from his closed fist into his mouth. Sometimes he succeeds by forcing as much of his hand into his mouth along with the cereal, then removing his fingers while leaving the food behind.
Then, his saliva-covered hand easily catches fresh pieces, which he attempts to shove in, as well.
Now, he’s getting better at picking up a single piece with his fingertips, which allows him to more easily place it in his mouth. He’s also better at seeing the food in or on his hand, so he can get a better angle at getting it in his mouth. But mostly, he still likes to grab and shove.
It’s a delight to watch. He’s so intent on what he’s doing that he doesn’t mind that half of his Cheerios fall into the chair seat or get pushed onto the floor. When he can’t get a piece of cereal loose from his hand, he assumes it already was gone, and reaches for another, as little O’s stick to his palm.
He’s too young to know or care that his process could be improved, and he could look better (and eat more) if he picked up a piece at a time and put it daintily into his mouth.
Because, you see, he’s learning, and it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Yoga doesn’t have to be perfect, either
I’m learning by doing with yoga, and trust me, it isn’t perfect.
A number of years ago, when I used to exercise religiously every morning, I did some yoga routines with TV programs, so I was familiar with the basic concepts and poses. I’m a beginner at yoga, somewhere between “I’ve never touched a mat” and “I’m ready to go to the next level.”
Recently, I attended an in-person class with my cousin after a long drive from Tennessee, and it felt so good! When she suggested a yoga routine on YouTube with “Olga” (her nickname for the instructor), I thought I’d give it a try. She warned me it was tough but worth it.
Oh, golly. It started out OK, and I was feeling pretty good. It was all stuff I had done or at least tried. And then somewhere around the middle, I wound up nearly standing on my head, close to tears, and wondering what the hell I was doing and thinking. There was no way I’d ever be able to do it. My negative self-talk kicked in. I turned off the program and texted my cousin.
She commiserated and suggested if I kept going or had a partner there to encourage me, it would get better. “Olga” is a good instructor who makes you work, but it feels good, she said. However, I’m not yet to that level in my beginning yoga practice.
Instead, my cousin suggested a couple of other yoga instructors, and I found Yoga with Adriene easily on YouTube. A few sessions later, and I was feeling much better in body and mind.
We want to look and be perfect
In fact, I liked it so much, I encouraged my daughter to give it a try. She was interested but a bit hesitant, noting she always felt self-conscious that she wasn’t doing it right or that she looked stupid.
Oh, yes. We worry about that, how we look, even in our own homes with no one to see us. How many of us have that self-consciousness? We compare ourselves to others, which means we fall short or we feel superior. And then we feel bad for falling short or feeling superior. It’s a no-win situation. Sometimes, it will keep us from even trying something we’ve never done before because we don’t want to look like we don’t know what we’re doing.
Like my cousin had encouraged me, I encouraged my daughter to try it. I assured her Adriene is gentle and says that you need to find what works for you. You don’t have to look like her or do the poses exactly like her. She encourages you to make them your own. It helps that you feel better when you’re done. That’s really important, especially right now.
Striving for perfection can be detrimental. Imagine if my grandson wouldn’t eat if he didn’t do it perfectly. He learns by doing and gets better as he does it. That’s how I and my daughter need to look at yoga. That’s how we all need to look at the things we want to do or try. It doesn’t have to be perfect; we just need to do it.
And if we get as much enjoyment from it as Link does from eating Cheerios, we’ll all be in a better state of mind.
How to be a better writer tip
Start with a single idea
I start these columns with a single idea. In journalism we called it the lede (first sentence) or nutgraph. It was the basis around which we built a story.
As a reporter, I’d take an idea, find sources to interview, then write a story with that idea in mind. As a columnist, I don’t need to interview people, but I still need to build content around an idea.
In this case, my idea was “It doesn’t have to be perfect,” and it came to me after watching Link eat Cheerios. That reminded me of my own yoga experience and my daughter’s hesitation.
Voila! A column is born.
By choosing a single idea, it helps keep me focused. Otherwise, I’d go on and on, down rabbit holes and off on tangents.
If you find you lack focus in your writing, step back and find a single idea.
- What’s the one thing you want to convey to readers?
- What do you want them to remember?
- Sum it up in one (short) sentence.
- Write with that focus in mind.
2 COMMENTS
That’s the same idea I take with painting. I’m not a professional, but it’s fun, so I tell myself it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s scary to start with a blank canvas, but you have to start!
That’s a great way of looking at it, Theresa. Thank you for sharing! (What do you like to paint?)