Do you ever notice you get what you need?

Or, put another way, you get what you focus on?

I’ve had several recent experiences bring home this reality.

Looking for a dresser

My daughter has been looking for a small dresser for baby clothes. She had something in mind, and she was pretty sure she could find something second-hand that would work.

I agreed to help look, and so our search began a couple of weeks ago. Our first stop was Goodwill. It didn’t have exactly what we wanted, so we kept looking. Finally, her nesting instincts kicked in in a big way, and she was determined to find something.

Stevens Point has a number of second-hand shops. A Google search sent us to two Goodwill stores, a thrift store and several consignment shops. We found some cute baby clothes, but no dresser. We tried Walmart and TJ Maxx. Nothing was ideal. We even went into a real furniture store, just to see what was there. Nice stuff, but out of our budget right now.

Next, we did a search on the Facebook marketplace, which wasn’t very helpful. There was very little in the immediate area, and I didn’t think it was worth it to drive to Wausau – or further – for a $40 used dresser.

We did, however, find an estate sale. The dressers were already sold, and much nicer and more expensive than what we wanted to pay. It wasn’t a total bust, because I bought a food processor for $1. More about that later.

The couple of garage sales we found didn’t have much for furniture.

What about Target? my son asked. We didn’t find a dresser, but we did find a cube system for about the same price, which my daughter thought would work at least for a while. We put it together, anchored it to the wall, filled the cubes and cubbies with baby stuff and decided it looked nice. It was a good alternative to our original plan.

On the way back to my house sit, within visual distance of my driveway, a neighbor had placed three dressers by the curb – free. All were a light gray-white wood grain. They were matching, but of varying heights.

We both burst out laughing.

We had spent weeks looking for a dresser, and the day we broke down and bought something else, three free ones show up at my door.

 

Finding a food processor

So, about that food processor.

If you’ve read my posts, you know I got rid of pretty much everything I owned. I travel light these days, and I’m content to share with others – or borrow from others. I guess they share with me, and for that I am grateful.

More than a year and a half ago, I gave up sugar. I try to avoid added processed sugar in any form – high fructose corn syrup, white sugar, brown sugar, cane sugar and artificial sweeteners. Natural sugars are OK – just nothing added. I use real maple syrup and honey, albeit sparingly.

I don’t miss it. When others go for cakes, cookies or ice cream, I honestly can say I don’t want it. The craving is gone. The few times I’ve had too much added sugar, I’ve paid for it with long, nasty headaches. It is not worth it.

Recently, I ran across a recipe for mostly raw brownies. Imagine my surprise when I realized they were something I could eat, because they don’t have sugar! Dates provide the sweetness. Excited, I gathered the supplies, but I needed a food processor, and I couldn’t find one at my house sit.

I used to own the perfect thing – a small food processor that maybe held 2 cups total. Surely my daughter or my sons had it. They remembered it, but a search of their kitchen cabinets came up empty. Alas, it was gone.

Maybe I could use a coffee grinder, I thought. Yes for the “flour,” but not for the dates. I’d never get it clean.

The brownie recipe got put on the back burner, but I kept my eyes open for a second-hand food processor. Standing at the estate sale, I turned from a piece of furniture, and my eyes dropped to the table in front of me. A small food processor, maybe 1 cup total, sat directly in front of me. Without thinking, I picked it up and paid $1.

Brownies are back on the menu. I won’t be able to mix the whole thing at once, but I can grind the flour and then the dates. I’ll have to mix it by hand, which might be a challenge, but it will be OK. People did that sort of thing before we had all of these gadgets to make our lives easier.

Technically, the food processor is small enough I could keep it, but I’ll probably give it to my daughter, in case she wants to make small batches of baby food or her own mostly raw brownies.

 

Finding a job

Since I was living in Portugal, I’ve been looking for a job – freelance, part-time, full-time, whatever.

At first, I thought I wasn’t finding a job because I was living in Portugal. Even though job descriptions say you can work from anywhere, I found what most mean is anywhere in the eastern time zone of the US.

Truthfully, I enjoyed not working for someone else while I wrapped up my time in Portugal. I had a lot of time for my projects, and it was nice to live without a set schedule.

I told myself I would find a job when I got back to Tennessee. Boy, did I hit it hard. I worked 40-plus hours a week on my job search and my writing projects. My personal requirement was to apply for at least one job every day, and I was picky about it. I want my next job to be a good fit – not something I won’t enjoy.

In applying for jobs, rarely did I even hear back. One job I applied for through a national job site received more than 600 applications. At least they looked at my resume, according to the job site, but I never heard a thing from the employer. That’s kind of been the case – I got a few rejections up front, but rarely did I get a response. Just nothing.

Oh, I wanted a “real” job before I went to Wisconsin. Every day, I hoped something would come up so I could get started and be acclimated by the time I had to travel.

Nothing. Nada. Nope.

Instead, I went to Wisconsin early when my daughter had some minor complications.

And that was when I realized what the universe had been trying to tell me. There was no way I could have held a part-time – let alone a full-time – job while being back.

My whole purpose for returning was to be here for my daughter and to help my sons a little, too. It’s been great to see friends and other family, but my plan was to help her get ready for the baby and be here for a little bit after his birth.

I’ve been able to do that, and it’s been wonderful! But I could not have done it well with a job that required set hours every day.

Instead, I’ve been fortunate to find a couple of freelance jobs that are very flexible, and I really enjoy them.

 

You get what you need

These three instances all share the same basic premise that you get what you need. In each case, what I got was different than what I wanted. What I got was what I needed.

Wouldn’t it be great if I could stop struggling so much and just go with the flow, knowing that I will get what I need in the right time?

It gets a little easier, since I’ve had more experiences like this. I’m learning to look for and recognize them. But the perfectionist planner in me still wants to figure everything out. It’s not always easy to just let go.

Still, it’s pretty cool when it happens. And sometimes, like with the dressers, it’s even funny. I need to keep reminding myself, you get what you need.

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Be a Better Writer Tip

Listen to Music

This blog post had the Rolling Stones’ song running through my head. It made me think of how music can play a role in your writing.

Do you listen to music when you write?

Every person is different. Some need strict silence. Some need music or TV.

I think because I learned to write at a newspaper, I learned to tune out a lot – people talking, TV, radio, scanner chatter. Yet I also knew I had to keep an ear open for anything that might need my attention. So while I was blocking sounds out, I also was paying some attention to them. When a call came through on the scanner, I recognized if it was a traffic crash or a fire. I got good at knowing when someone was likely to need me to take a call or deal with a customer.

That said, I sometimes write with music, and sometimes not. When I do, I vary the music based on my mood. Sometimes, I will choose an upbeat mix or classical music. Maybe it’s bluegrass, jazz or big band standards. I tend to like indie folk rock, and I’ve got a lot of Pandora channels that lean that way.

Music can motivate you. Athletes of all abilities use music to pump themselves up and get through exercise routines.

Music can calm and relax you. It can trigger memories and spark emotions.

If you don’t usually use music, give it a try. If you do usually listen to music when you write, try a different genre.

You might find it distracting, so don’t keep up the experiment if it isn’t working. Instead, try something else and see where it leads you in your writing world.